The iphone virus, Do u have the Bug?

I was so close to buying the iphone the other day, literally I almost purchased it in an O2 store until the salesman told me I had to bend over and take it like a bitch. I was like £45 quid a month for 600 minutes and 500 texts that’s like the raping of Harrison Ford by Scott Lucas in the most recent follow up of ‘Indiana Jones’. Although it is impossible to deny the iphone as a piece of technology that would make any person feel pretty good for a day or two the actual price of the phone does not match up to its capabilities. In my opinion a phone that expensive must possess all its current capabilities, be a replica of Stacey dash, give me loving every morning, make me breakfast and massage me after a hard days work. Seriously why would anyone be willing to sell their arm and leg for the iphone? Yes I agree that it has thousands of applications that you can add for the convenience of your everyday life such as the app that will find your car for you if you forget where you parked. But in all honesty how often would you need to rely on such a service? unless you are senile, forgetful or stupid, in which case buying the iphone may not be a wise choice, because you would be prone to losing a phone that costs you at least £540 a year.

Some of you may think that the iphone is worth the money but in realistic terms it is only perceived to be such a great phone because of great marketing. I am not going to lie I recently just recovered from the iphone virus which causes you to experience an increased heart rate when seeing it, hallucinations are very common, severe verbal diarrhea, and vomiting when you are cured. The symptoms are caused by different factors; firstly the increased heart rate is caused by human nature, when we see something that everybody else has and claims it is awesome we become like kids in a candy store and simply must have it. The hallucinations are a manifestation of you as a potential consumer or consumer believing the hype that no other phone comes within a radius of 1000 miles of your entrusted iphone and no matter how much it costs you still have the best phone on the land! The verbal diarrhea is more a result of the movement of ones mouth when speaking in reference to the iphone, you find yourself speaking a load of BS because the hypothalamus within your brain is under attack from the virus you have transmitted. The vomiting will occur once you realise Apple, Orange or O2 whoever you care to blame have taken you for a complete ride and you have just been violated continuously in that single transaction, anyway hope you enjoy your iphone sucker. PS maybe you should check out the Nokia N900.